hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
