I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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