TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize