You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
FUCK WHALES
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize