Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
