Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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