love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
