I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize