yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize