...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
