Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize