new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
