We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he was CRYING into my vagina
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
