Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize