i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My vagina is very pro this idea
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