Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
