I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
