I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
