so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
