So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
