youre lurking in front of me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
