your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
