he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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