my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
