your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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