Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
