It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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