My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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