We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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