If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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