Having a random hookup so left but love u
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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