i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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