What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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