I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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