do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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