is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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