This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
