this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
