He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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