Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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