Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
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Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everclear isn't food dammit
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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