Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
