nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
