covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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