So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
