Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
