In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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