last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
