I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
