so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
