Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
