he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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