I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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