Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
