i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
