She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
